Folks, these comments may explain my fierce passion for respect for gay people. And yes, Mike, I do stand strongly for my beliefs; they're just not the same as yours.

I have a foreign-born "son" who is gay. He was raised in a conservative Protestant church and traditional family values in another country. After he came to the U.S. as a student and opened his eyes to the diversity of life here, he came to realize what it was that had been haunting him all his life and why he always had felt different: he was gay. At this time, he was living in my American home, and it was no big deal for us. We had a lesbian daughter and attended a Unitarian Universalist Church with a gay minister who had "married" his partner, so we could take this in our stride. 

But it was a devastating realization for my young man; he asked God why this had happened to him; what had he done to deserve this curse of homosexuality? He spiraled downward into deep depression and psychiatric hospitalization. In seven months, we dealt with various suicide attempts: wrist slashing, a gun, a possible hanging, and an overdose of drugs, with two emergency room visitations. It was the most anxiety-ridden period of his life, and mine, too. I cringe when I remember the terror of those months, never knowing if I'd find him dead or alive when I got home.

That was four years ago; he's much better now and at peace with himself as a gay man (until he goes home to visit family, who do not know anything of this). He has been helped by counseling, anti-depressants, by our family's love and acceptance, and by two ex-boy friends who are gay former Catholic priests; he now attends a reconciling Methodist church.

I love this young man as my own son and I highly resent any implication that he and my daughter are not perfectly wonderful exactly as they are or that they should change to become more "acceptable" in someone else's eyes. 

As my son has become more accepting of himself, I have become more angry: at a society and hypocritical religions that do not understand the magnitude of God's grace and that devalue the one who is different from the norm. I have changed from a neutral uninterested person in the area of human sexuality to a passionate defender of the rights of sexual minorities. My life has changed considerably: I write letters to newspapers, I call conservative radio talk shows, I lobby politicians, and I waste no moment to speak out for my gay children. My life is richer, more sensitive, and more compassionate with gay people in my life than it ever was before.

Mary Reed