Date: Fri, 21 Mar 1997 00:17:17
-0500 (EST)
From: Steve C
To: Steve S
Subject: Post Gay Sexuality
On Thu, 20 Mar 1997, Steve Schalchlin wrote:
In reading your comments about how you
changed to hetero, I can only state that, since you make such a point about
masculinity and fatherhood and these kinds of needs that you were
not gay at all.
Steve C.:
Well, "if it looks like a rose, and smells like a rose ..." What
can I say without "protesting too much"? I sure thought I was gay.
'sure fooled (quite a number of) other people too then over about a 15
year period.
I believe it is Hamer (perhaps using another researcher's framework)
that speaks about sexuality as four omponents. Attraction, self-identity,
behaviour, and fantasy. I had 'em all. Big time.
So what makes a real one then? (I just hope we're not heading
off on another "gene scam" chase, as The Guide called it.)
Steve S. said: [snip]
You might have indulged in gay sex in order to fulfill some kind of
psychological problem with your parental unit, but that's not being
gay. That's just having gay sex.
Steve C.:
With all due respect Steve, considering the whole emotional/self-identity
content I experienced, that sounds like ..."that's not true kleptomania,
that's just uncontrollable stealing."
Steve S. said: [snip]
That sounds like a person with problems trying to work them out.
It makes me very happy that you worked them out or you might have
broken some trusting truly gay man's heart along the way. I've seen
this before. If gay sex is a sin, then it's only sin if you aren't gay.
I believe that it's a sin for me to have straight sex since I am
not a hetero.
Steve C.:
And bisexuals? (Or what about people who experience a shift in
their sexuality?)
Steve S. said: [snip]
I believe your story. I believe you liked gay sex and that you worked
through it and now like straight sex. Call it post-gay or call it "finding
yourself" or anything else you want to. I've stated my opinion on your
"gayness."
Ditto. :-) And I would add that my opinion is based on walking
around in the subject's skin for almost 42 years. :-)
Steve S. said: [snip]
Steve, I have all the respect in the world for your sexuality,
whatever it might be. I'm so happy you found your true self. Few people
find even that much.
Steve C.:
Thanks, Steve, I *know* that is sincere and truly comes from the heart
and I appreciate it.
These are very challenging subjects and phenomonally emotionally weighted
for you and me and almost every person cc'd. I just want to say that
I appreciate you and find a warmth in your writing - even when we disagree
- that makes me really like you. *You're okay, Steve. :-)*
Would you please add me to your email list of your
daily diary?
Warmly,
Steve (C) |
