| Let
the Real Healing Begin
A Call to Dialogue by the Bridges-Across Steering Committee |
Ex-Gay | |
| Abstract
Dialogue Schools AIDS Families Campus Friendship Education Ex-gays Truth Appendix
A: "Justice and Respect: Our position and direction"
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Ex-gays
and ex-ex-gays
Steve Schalchlin: "Despite our strong disagreements, Tom and I have much in common, we know what it is to grow up ‘different’ and we both hate lies, distortions, stereotyping, half-truths and disrespect."Tom Cole to Steve Schalchlin: "We really are much more alike than I would have admitted six months ago."Schalchlin to Cole: "Tom, for the record, I completely acknowledge that you used to live a gay life and were attracted to men -- and that now you are not attracted to men and that you are attracted to your wife. Full oga [opposite gender attraction]. What I ‘deny’ is the conclusion you have come to about what that means. But I do not deny your experience. Why? Because I think you’re a completely honest and totally selfless human being and that you have no reason to lie. I also see huge dollops of agape love. My favorite kind."The hostile reaction to reorientation ministries is only partially due to the fact that the struggle for equality for gay and lesbian people has become associated with the proposition that sexual orientation is fixed. The objection to change ministries is primarily due to the life experiences of those who found that, for them, the pursuit of change was a snare and a delusion. While some people who are happier because of reorientation ministries, others have been deeply hurt by the attempt to seek change. Vision Research. It will be in everyone’s interest to have a cross-divide research team design and implement a longitudinal, controlled study of the effects of reorientation ministries. Bridges-Across is in touch with ministries and researchers who are interested in this project, however conversations are preliminary and we cannot be more specific at this time. Dialogue. We hope ex-ex-gays and ex-ex-ex gays will come to the Bridges-Across forums and share their experiences. We also invite gays and pro-gays to come into the space and get to know ex-gays personally. And of course we continue to encourage ex-gays to participate in our conversations. Terminology. The Bridges-Across Project has a paper, always under construction, "Trying not to push buttons: suggestions for talking across the divide." In addition to a research project, there will be collaborative work on a media usage guide. The process is very unlikely to lead to full agreement on terminology, but it would lead to better understanding and a partial agreement. The process itself would be revolutionary and do a great deal to reduce anger and hate. URLs
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Research.
It will be in everyone’s
interest to have a cross-divide research team design and implement a longitudinal,
controlled study of the effects of reorientation ministries.
Dialogue
We hope ex-gays,
ex-ex-gays, and ex-ex-ex gays will come to the Bridges-Across forums
and share their experiences. We also invite gays and pro-gays to
come into the space and get to know ex-gays personally.
Terminology
In addition
to a research project, there will be collaborative work on a media usage
guide. The process is very unlikely to lead to full agreement on terminology,
but it would lead to better understanding and a partial agreement.
The process itself would be revolutionary and do a great deal to reduce
anger and hate.
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